Taken from my Humor board at
www.tribalfury.com
You know you play Everquest too much when..........
You look at your dog and ask for a SoW.
you see the lightning bugs out in your front yard during the summer and think 'I wonder if it will drop a 'GLS'
You go to the zoo and wonder what the lions con to you.
When driving through rush-hour traffic, you wonder why you didn't bind at home so you could just gate back.
You glimpse roadkill on the highway and wonder if anyone's looted it yet.
Well, I'd like to Lend you that CD but it's no-drop...
When driving along at dusk you want to see if the car in the distance is a cop so you mentally try to target them.
You look for the NUM LOCK key in your car for cruise control.
Your wife/girl friend's 'con' goes from warmly to scowls..
When you try to phoneticaly spell something and you say "Q as in Qeynos".
You see that your friend has a new outfit on, and ask for the stats, and if it can be worn by 'small races'.
when sitting in your living room with your family, you get up to go to the bathroom, and tell them "afk for a min".
When someone is telling you about a friend of theirs and you ask them what race/class/level they are.
When you actually say "LoL" to a freinds joke instead of laughing at it.
You drive past a cop and wonder if you aggroed him.
After hearing a funny joke you say "ROFL"
Your cat sits in an empty laundry basket for hours, and you think that he must be camping the rare some_warm_clean_laundry01 spawn.
You are waiting for the lunch hour to come around and chanting "You are hungry. You are thirsty. You are out of food and drink."
While taking out the trash you hear the noise for finishing a quest and see "Your faction with Wives/Girlfriends have increased!"
You walk into a restaurant and yell "camp check" to get an open table...
Watching a movie in the theater and the hero is getting chased by the baddies and you shout "train to zone!"
While meditating, you sprint to the microwave, throw in two Hot Pockets, and search for the "Combine" button.
You do stuff in real-life for experence! Your Brown Nose Boss has increased (201)
You hear an elevator "ding", think you levelled, and wonder what new spells you got.
When you email or page your friends with things like: "Loading, please wait..." "A griffon slashed YOU for 98 points of damage!" "YOU HAVE BEEN DISCONNECTED"
When a plate thrown by A Neglected Spowse hits YOU for 46 damage.
You ask your boss to nerf the guys in admin.
When you're driving along bored and keep looking over to the left side of the steering wheel trying to hit "forage".
When saying "BRB" actually becomes common at work.
Sitting in traffic and you wish that Lilwolf was there so you could get a teleport to work.
When show your kid the 'frogloks' in the pond
When someone cuts you off in traffic and all you can think about is PvP and that guys face on the head of a newbie.....
You don't go to the doctors any more, you go to the church and ask the priest for a Cure Disease.
When you raise your eyebrows in suspicion at everyone you meet named Brad or Gordon...
When you think about joining the army, but decide against it because of massive downtime.
When That stuff you made in Arts and Crafts looks NOTHING like crafted..
When you complain about low baking skill after a burnt dinner...
When you travel to your grandfathers birthplace hoping he'll return to his "bindpoint" after death.
When you shout for a res for your grandfather.
When you see you received a pay cut and shout "I'VE BEEN NERFED!!!"
You start to auction things in your office: "WTS a rusty knife, send tells please"
You keep looking for the Sense Heading button on the dashboard of your car...
You use trollspeak in company e-mail, Such as: "Hi, just wondering if the NOC is still having overflow problems?" "Wut yu meen stoopid?"
You roll over after sex and say, "Out Of Mana".
When you buy something at the store and tell the clerk: "the label said it was only 2 platinum"
A female acquaintance shows you her new engagement ring and you say "Cool! What are the stats on that?!"
You refer to pennies as copper pieces.
Go to a casino and see the people playing slot machines. You think to your self, "That's not fair! They can't camp 2 and 3 of those at a time!"
When you have the constent urge to gate, instead of drive home.
you see a sports car drive by and say, 'Dang! somebody nerf that thing!'
You're driving in your car and thinking: "Wow, this is one big zone!"
Thinking to yourself, my wife is mad, maybe i should befriend her.
You know that you can start one load of laundry, vacuum the living room, and get a drink from the kitchen in the time it takes to go from OOM to FM.
You ask your co-workers if they want to group for lunch.
You're talking to your manager and continuously thinking /rude /rude /rude...
You're saying goodbye to a friend and think /wave
Preface all actions in your mind with /em
You see the little rich kid at school with a new SRV and think 'man I hate twinks!'
You stop dreaming about being a superhero... but being level 60 and how cool that would be...
You tell your dog to '/guard here' instead of stay.
You wish you had an allience spell for your wife.
You consider selling your car so you can afford a DSL link, a new GForce 2 and a new processor... Because you only drive twice a day...
you start drinking milk for the first time in years... because it's only 3cp.
When you dream about EQ solutions to real life problems...
When you're waiting on your printjob to come out and there are several people standing there ahead of you, you're thinking "they must be camping the printer spawn"
When you call your wife by her Eq name in complete seriousness.. or real-life friends who play... "Hi Gornak.. erm.. Bob.. sorry"
When those loaves of summoned bread start looking really tasty.
Your boss starts looking like an Orc Pawn
You are hungry and thirsty, but your character has 40 muffins, and 40 water flasks.
You can "forage" on your computer desk and find something edible.
You start saying things like, "hail a co-worker"
You compulsively hit the / key to see who is online (even though you're not even connected to the internet)
You care more about your main character's appearance than your own
When you try to MemBlur your wife to avoid a fight and instead find the divorce papers.
When your entire family tells you "Turn the damn computer off and go outside"
Your neighbors ask your kid if you have been sick because they have not seen you in a while.
Your non-EQ friend does not stop by for a week because he assumed you were asleep, since there were no lights on at your house.
When you are watching a program about Stonehenge on the Discovery Channel and you can't help thinking: They know nothing about Druids at all do they?
If I am walking along a beach and see a crocodile, will I even be worried about it or will I figure that it is non-aggro?
You actually do name your dog Jobotik and then get frustrated when he won't respond to /pet sit down, never mind /pet follow me.
you're talking to someone on AIM or yahoo IM and you preface everything with /g or /t
You are talking to a friend on the phone and have to leave. But knowing that you plan to call your friend back you say "I gotta go, I'll send you a tell later!"
Your desktop wallpaper is a screenshot of anywhere in the game, and you constantly try to move using the arrow keys........real annoying.
Driving along, see the sign that says "Entering Charlotte" ....and actually expecting to see "LOADING, PLEASE WAIT" and zone.
When a friend asks if you want to go camping this weekend and you tell him you already got your J-Boots.
When a friend from work asks if you want to go out for a drink, and you say "Sure, send me a /tell and we'll get together."
/con boss "Your boss looks like a reasonably safe opponent."
when you look a real-life friend and see nothing but a big plate wearing, axe weilding barbarian.
or when you are thinking...
"a stupid client has been slain"
You Gain Experience!
Your faction standing with boss goes down.
Your faction standing with co-workers goes up.
When after six years of being on AOL, you start telling your friends there to send you a /tell instead of an IM.
When you start messages to coworkers with "Hail," and respond affirmatively with "Aye."
You're going to visit someone and they ask if you know how to get there. You tell them that if you get lost, you'll just find a wall and follow it to the zone.
A rude customer is nagging you and you say "forwardslash ignore!"
If you are in HS and in track you wish you had SoW at a track meet.
At work when you meet up with real-life EQ friends you talk about EQ for hours and dont get any work done.
When you log off after a 6-8hour day of playing EQ, you get ready for bed and you sit in your bed and say "Camp will prepare in 30 seconds"
Your dog takes off running from you and you say "PET BACK!"
When you can have a conversation with your spous while you are playing and have absolutely no clue what the two of you just talked about because you were busy killing the Froglok Executioner
When you actully fire up a spreadsheet at work and make a list of all the equipment you still plan to get and what it's effects on your stats will be
When you are having nightmares about EQ
When you try to explain the game to someone without using all kinds of EQ-terminology and simply are not able to
You are walking and begin approaching someone with your eyeballs looking to the upper right for an invisibility icon.
You look for your cat on the tracking list.
You call your pet "pet".
You go to the swimming pool and worry about forgetting your fishbone earring.
When your dog is whining at the door to go out, you think - "Should I mez him to buy some time?"
When you look up at the co-work who just entered your office and wonder why you don't see a name floating above his head..
When you get invited to an Efreeti run, and you turn down sex & sleep to go along.
When you look at your co-workers and wonder what class / race they'd be in EQ.
When you use excel more to calculate how to get the most mana (..if I trade this 7 int necklace for this 55 mana one, I can then equip the stein....) more than to do your real work.
When helping a friend move into a new house, you wonder if you can ask for a strength buff first.
You'd day dream what the prices will be at the supermarket if only your charisma was higher.
You need SoW to get to work.
You answer the phone with "Hail" and try to cover it up with "lo".. "Hail-lo?"
You wonder just what kind of loot the security guards at the mall would drop, and what their spawn time is...
When you need to actually throw away the junk food wrappers so you can see your monitor.
You're outside and you look up at the sky and think.. "DAMN, now thats some good resolution"
When you see a bum sleeping on the street and try to right-click on it.
When you go to the bank, ignore the line, and try to mentally right-click on one of the tellers.
When you visit a night club you think, Damn everyone is more twinked than me.
You enter your local shopping mall...
Once inside you shout:
"WTS Robe of the Oracle AC 9, +5 int, +5 wis, +25 mana, weight 2, pure casters only, 900pp"
And then when a bunch of people start looking at you funny, you then get frustrated and shout:
"Serious inquiries only!"
Your co-worker sneezes, and you automatically look up and to the left for your Cure Disease spell icon.
Mostly, When your driving to a town (a few towns from home) and you start to look for a good and safe place to bind.
When you step on a spider and are disappointed that it didn't squeel like a pig.
When you say 'Nod' to someone in response to them telling you something.
When you actully fire up a spreadsheet at work and make a list of all the equipment you still plan to get and what it's effects on your stats will be
Buzzyrd Bayt
You know you've played EQ too much when...
Linear Mode
